The Zen Playground

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Posts tagged "WMD"

So, there’s a lot of things that are happening with me for 2013, some of which are starting to even intimidate me as I now have officially reached the point where I’ll have to do them;

  • starting back facilitating poetry workshops at one of my old schools
  • going into business with a friend
  • doing a lot more with my Spoken Word
  • trying my hand at writing and directing, both stage and film
  • a lot more spiritual and mental changes…

And, while these things are quote serious, there’s something else that this new year seems to bring in abundance - wisdom…

My good friend’s been having problems reconciling himself with a very tough emotional year. It’s gotten better in some places around the very end, but has also been a little more questionable in some sense. And he said, just an half hour before New Year’s Day, that he needs to change some things about himself.

It dawned on me to tell him that a new year is all about renewal. Animals shed their skin or fur, dead leaves fall in their season…and the spirit, too, sheds its own dead tissue, the parts of it that it no longer can or should use. We become a new person, sometimes against our will, because our ‘skins’ are shedding off all of the things that we have grown out of.

But it’s also about strength. A person suffers trials like exercises, just enough to tear the muscle so that it heals back stronger than it first was. So, even those these trials tend to leave us broken in some way, now’s the time to rest and reflect on the muscles they’ve flexed as a result, and take some pride in the idea that the things you’ve gone through have made you stronger.

I told him to shed the flesh, rest the muscles, and see what other parts of you need to be exercised. That’s what new years are about to me. Becoming cleaner and stronger.

I hope that all of you get cleaner, stronger, more Blessed and Peaceful.

Here’s a reminder - Our planet changes alignment on 6:05AM on the morning of Friday 21st December 2012. Before you ask, what we thought the Mayans said was wrong - it’s not the end of the world. But the Mayans were still right, in a sense - it is the end of the world as we know it.

The new era that we’re going into is, ideally, a more spiritual one. Some of you might’ve noticed that friends of yours were becoming more in tune with their spiritual sides. Maybe it was just weeks or months ago, or maybe it was since the year before for the folks who were more connected to the change they had to make for themselves. Maybe some of your friends have shown more enlightenment, and have played a bigger part in your life as supporters, friends, counselors and confidantes.

You might’ve also noticed some of your friends making falls lower than they ever have. You would’ve seen some of your friends have some violent upheavals, whether it was financial troubles, difficulties with keeping a job or finding a place to live, addictions and terrible mistakes, sickness and passing away… You may not have noticed that these things are the trials those people need to either break free of the bindings on their lives or to recognize those bonds and move to free themselves from them.

And, for some, this past week has either been a brilliant Blessing or a time of much more upheaval. Because, for those who have found where they need to go to, the Universe has started preparing them for that move. For those who still are where they were, the Universe is finishing the job of tearing their muscle to make them stronger.

On 6AM this Friday, you’re going to blossom into the person you will be for the rest of your entire life. And you choose where that person is, what soil he or grows on and whether you’ll get the sunlight that you need. Your petals spread apart from now, which means those decisions happen now. So, just in case you were wondering, you’re flowering right as you read this…

What kind of flower are you?

Meet Ralph. He’s not the world’s best guy, but it’s not all his fault. Some of it is the short end of the stick he’s been given - his lot is living in a dump all alone, waking up every so often to destroy people’s houses out of revenge. If his story wasn’t a video game, one might say that it’s his karma. Also part of his karma is his nature. He’s got a bit of an anger issue, and copes with some of all of his problems using his fists. Or, rather, his security that they can destroy whatever they touch.

We all have our own natures. They’re the things we often do in response to things like hurt or anger, or the ways we hear things or speak about them. Some say I have an accommodating nature - I make my own moves in relation to the options it would allow other people, and make excuses for their shortcomings in my spaces, and always try to take the diplomatic route even when it’s a route that leaves me behind.

Ralph’s nature is an aggressive one. If he can’t yell or throw or break it into submission, there’s absolutely nothing he can do to it. That doesn’t make him a bad person, it simply means that he hasn’t learned how to hear or say things differently. It’s kind of his emotional vocabulary - he can only hear people being nice or mean to him, and can only respond in accepting or destructive ways. It takes a great deal to learn more emotions to add to your vocabulary.

And, in more ways than one, that’s the story of Wreck-It Ralph. In order to achieve his goals, he needed to discover new ways to respond to the places he found himself in. When he just flipped things over, ran people down and broke things apart, he found himself being a fugitive. But, after a bit of thoughtfulness, him using his large hands the same way he always did was still able to bring completely new results - creation instead of destruction.

We have our own natures to overcome. When we are too accommodating, we have to learn to hold those near to us accountable. When we are too blaming, however, we have to learn to make accommodations for those who wish to be near us and hold ourselves accountable for some of the things we blame others for. When we are too aggressive, we must learn calmness. But you can also be too calm, and have to learn to release your aggression in healthy but honest ways. Often times, when you want something but can’t get it, or are in a place that doesn’t build you up, it’s because the way you respond to those things or places could be changed for the better. 

So, the next time you find yourself responding to someone or something out of anger or hurt, check to see if you are hearing with a nature that responds in the same ways. Start speaking to the world differently, and she will speak back to you in the same language.

I once heard a manifestation say "Plain talk is not bad manners. Where I come from, plain talk is good manners.” With that said, don’t feel bad about what I’m gonna tell you today…

On December 21st the world is gonna end. But it’s not what you think…

The world as you knew it, that’s gonna be long gone - the thoughts you had, the feelings you felt, the food you ate, even the stars you remembered in the sky, are all not going to be where you left them. They’re going to become something else. Some of those things are going to get better and stronger, some of them are going to move in different places, and some will be taken out of your life completely. And that could be either good or bad.

From a practical (or at least astrological) perspective, another Great Year is soon to end, and the Age of Aquarius is going to begin in a few days. That might not mean a lot to most folks, but here’s what it means to me…

I jokingly called the past year “The Year of Violent Upheaval”. Turns out, this was no joke. The past year has been filled with trials and tribulations for almost every single person. That’s no accident. It’s the universe’s way of telling you that you need to gather your things and move to a better place. The place we are ion now, the era that we are settled into, is going to come crashing down. And we have to get out while it’s still crumbling.

Whether you believe in astrology or spirituality or not, this new year is one of leaving behind and finding your breakthrough. All the ‘crazies’ like me have spend the year saying that it’s soon going to end. Even if we were wrong, you have an opportunity to move past that time…and become a new person in that new time that we’ll be going into. Or you can take the negative thoughts and emotions of the time you’re leaving and bring them with you to your newly appointed time. The choice is yours.

But, if you’re doing sh*t that is negatively affecting your life, you have a prime opportunity to get rid of that negativity and influence and enter into your new life. Or live that life for a lot longer than you planned to…


Starting Over - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat Ben Bridwell of Band Of Horses

Some of us have sad stories.
Stories that hurt us even to remember, let alone share. We often don’t think that there’s any benefit in letting it back out, because all it did was hurt us when we experienced it. It makes no sense to have others experience it with us over again.

Some of hear these stories because it reminds us of the griefs that burst upon ourselves. We are actually the creator’s worst nightmares - the folks that listen to their sad stories to remind ourselves of how sad we are and how much sadder we deserve to be.

The purpose of a story has always been to impact a virtue. To share a moral, for most people. A comedy reminds us that there are some things we take too seriously, or that sometimes we’re the fool when we think we’re so wise. A romance reminds us that there is still magic and adventure and wonder in this world, in the places we least expect.

And the tragedy does not tell us that all is lost. It tells us that others feel like this, and that you are not alone. It’s okay want to help them, when we see them suffer through their stories. That’s the moral too - that we are there, and we should not feel powerless to lend a hand to someone in need.

And, most importantly, it reminds us that we can change. That we must. That this place makes us feel things that hurt us, stunt our growth as the mighty trees we must be. But to grow, we must stop doing the things that stunt us, and putting ourselves in the places that we have not grown in before.

So we don’t have to sing these kinds of songs…these beautifully sad songs. Because they’re only sung so we can become better men.

(via arrivalattempts1)

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve learned so much about myself, and quite possibly everyone else. I’ve grown more informed and (I’d like to think) more understanding about why people do the things that they do, and the layers to that onion are still getting peeled. Not just about people on a whole, but myself in all my multitudes…

  • I was speaking to my Siheng this afternoon about people wanting to learn martial arts simply to be able to fight other people, and he simply responded by saying those people will never learn how to fight. I asked why, and he said that those people will never be able to internalize the philosophy behind the art, and therefore will never be able to fight with the system. But, even more important than that is that those sorts of people don’t know what to do when they feel bad, and simply destroy as a result. He said that people need to learn what makes them feel good, and learn how to change their negative energy to positive. Or they will keep destroying.
  • I had a nightmare of someone I care about deliberately making stupid decisions and telling me that she would not listen to my reasons for advising her against it. She’d rather do it and feel pain than listen to me even though she probably believed me right. It doesn’t sound different to what a great deal of people have told me over the past year. And not only have I realized why that statement is bullsh*t - because we often know what is good or bad for us, and do it anyway - but I realized why that bullsh*t irks me so much - because you are powerless to save someone that wants to be hurt.
  • I said the word ‘karma’ today, and finally understood it. Or just understood it on another level. Karma is not just the actions we perform in this life, it is also the consequences of those actions. Which means when we ‘perform’ our karma (My karma makes me hit people when I’m upset), we also are solely responsible for the outcome as though we acted that out as well (It was my karma that has me labelled hot-headed and makes me lose friends). We can’t say sorry. We didn’t just do the means, we also did the end.

Thankful for the Blessings, and hoping that I truly learn.



I think the problem is a lot more complex than analogies.

Aniki said once that we are trees.

Then he watched the documentary Marley (well wicked, might I add). And I heard Bunny Wailer sing ‘Small Axe’, and it hit me like the Whomping Willow.

Everything that can grow or die is a tree. When Aniki says we are trees, he says it because he wants us to grow.

But wickedness grows. Faith grows. Hope grows. Despair grows.

And when the right thing is withering, you tend to it. And when the wrong thing grows, you sharpen the axe.

But when you forget which tree is worth cutting, you aim for something bearing good fruit.

With all the context lacking, let me say this final thing:
to the person who insists that I be one of the trees cut down instead of acknowledging that there are weeds taking the nutrients from Her,
you should sharpen the axe and go find your Attitude Tree.

well sharp. 

For the record, Aniki is Japanese for ‘brother’. Yep, this is my twin bro.

I think the final sentence could do with some trimming, but for the most part he hit the nail on the head…

We’re all trees, taking in the nutrients from the earth around us, and fighting for space among other trees with all sorts of different natures. And if we’re cutting ourselves out from the nutrients that are trying to make us stronger, then we’re cutting ourselves off from the root. And if we’re letting ourselves be suffocated by trees with aggressive, negative natures, we’re dying as well.

Sharpen yourself to cut those negative things out of your life. Lest you get cut down yourself.

"Them ah say them ah de biggest gyallist, an’ never get a threesome yet…"?

Dancehall has always left me conflicted. Maybe because my personal is too political, but also because what I believe about people and life that runs completely counter to songs like this.

We’ve given some credence to the ideas that lots of money and sex is what gives value to our lives, that being externally attractive and powerful, and having lots of sexual partners and lots of material is the way to exist and grow. We preach it, almost, in catchy and clever ways that speak to the spirits of creatures desperate for that growth.

Yesterday, I had a conversation about how we are trees, feeding off of poison instead of the things that truly make us grow and become stronger and bear good fruit. Sometimes, it seems as though there’s no real intention to bear good fruit, but instead to look like all the other trees in the forest.

So, for those who haven’t figured it out yet, I think ideas like this are poisonous…

So, for the better part of this entire year, I’ve been having a discussion that has posed maybe the biggest moral dilemma in my life. The question itself is not at all important, and I wasn’t even certain that the answer would change my life paradigm, but the idea that there was so much contention over the question, and that there could b a stance that stands so counter to my own stiff moral one confused the sh*t out of me.

What also worried me was the masses that I was speaking to - or, rather, against. i had this conversation with siblings, friends, colleagues, strangers, exes…and the amount of people that saw it the way I saw it was ridiculously small (and maybe shrinking the more I spoke about it. I’m not sure if that just means I’m wrong or if I should shut up…)

The question? "What about an open relationship?"

At first, I was adamantly against it because to be honest, I had no idea what an open relationship was. I understood relationships in a very linear way, and to an extent I still do. And I was led to believe that this was a relationship, with all the trappings except one - commitment. The two parties were free and able to have the exact same trappings with someone else, and still have the same level of relationship with each other. And that explanation didn’t do a thing for me…because then it meant that it…wasn’t a relationship?

And then it hit me. I figured out exactly what it is.

An open relationship is a disposable camera…

You get to take selective memories and post them where you want in your life, but the vessel that made that possible for you is one that you can quickly and easily get rid of…in a sense. I know it sounds pretty reductionist the way I explained it, but let’s be honest. You might still talk to the person and be friends, but his purpose to you (at the risk of sounding even more reductionist) is gone. The relationship, and by extension the person, runs its course and you get a new camera. Maybe one that lasts, maybe another disposable one, maybe even share a camera with a friend…you get where I’m going. I know you do.

So, basically, an open relationship is one that is acceptably disposable. The two parties believe that, for whatever reason, they do not have what it takes to build a lasting relationship or that it’s not something that can ever benefit them in that moment. And people get to think what they want. But I’ve been thinking about this on a different, almost spiritual level. And I’m getting some inconsistencies. Yep, interestingly enough, now that I’ve finally figured out what it’s about, I still disagree with the idea…

Let’s deal with the two ideas that I suggested…

  • ”I don’t believe that I have what it takes to build a lasting relationship…”

Let me run around you for a bit… Right now, I am sitting next to Ricoma 6-head flat-bed embroidery machine. I still am not even sure how much thousands of dollars this monster costs, and I couldn’t even fathom how to repair it if a needle broke or thread stuck…and much worse can happen. I’ve been working at an embroidery place called Modern Imaging and Marketing Concepts for a whopping two days, but before that I’ve done a night job with a friend of mine with the same machine. We named her 'Julia', because (much like I feared), she needs constant maintenance, much like a woman, and just has these moments of inexplicable breakdown. And, on this my second day, I’m going to be here, all alone, with no technical experience with this beast, embroidering expensive jackets for a security company next door (while keeping an eye on other priceless things that I can’t even identify if they were stolen). I didn’t believe I had what it takes to manage a company’s thousands-of-dollars property, or that I could prepare another company’s thousand-dollar property at the same time. I still am not sure I can build a relationship with Julia here. She’s very picky, very technical, and sometimes just has off days, and I don’t have the experience with her that others do. But if you’re not going to try and figure things out, stick with it through the off days and take real joy in the times when things go smoothly, then you never do get that experience and understanding of how to build that relationship.

  • "A relationship can’t benefit me where I am in life right now, and it never might…"

Oh, cool…I can see where you might get that… I’m not even being sarcastic here. Relationships are very big investments, and you want to make sure that when you get into one it helps build your life up. But that’s the thing - when you get a good one, and work on making it even better, it does. In fact, I believe that the basis of a relationship is to build the people in it. To remind them that there is someone that desires them, cares for them, can and will nurture them, wants to engage with them physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually….it’s nothing but a growing experience. It teaches you who you are and can be in the eyes of someone that you trust and hold in high esteem, and gives you a partner to discover your potential in every aspect of yourself. It lets you see the conflicts in the things that you believe in the eyes of someone that truly cares about you - mind, body and soul. That’s true growth, isn’t it?

So, what you’re really saying with this open relationship thing is, until you get a relationship that truly benefits you, you’ll spend your emotional energy on…relationships that don’t? Yeah, a digital camera or camcorder might be expensive in one shot, but the time and effort that you spend on multiple disposable cameras is hardly worth it in comparison. Spending emotions should be just as frugal an investment, I think.

The most common rebuttal I’ve heard is that people have different emotional needs. And that’s absolutely true. I, for instance, know I’m sexy. I don’t need a girl to be all over me telling me how bad she wants it. In fact, that’s kinda a turn-off, because I have concerns that I’m only a body. I’ve got emotional needs. I need to know that my soul is just as desirable as my body, and someone that can do that for me will get me wherever she wants me. Some folks, however, want to know that they’re physically desirable in their mate. Some want a relationship that builds a tangible future for them, because they already know they’re lovable. All that is good. But all that comes in the same place, I believe. I don’t think that someone could ever feel more desirable with a person that’s only with them while stocks last as opposed to someone who can still imagine them being as sexy as they are now months and years into the future.

I don’t know if all this means anything to anyone reading this. After all, for the year that I’ve been really dealing with the idea of open relationships, my stance hasn’t truly faltered (…except for one special young lady, a little). But if it means anything to you guys, I believe that buying a camcorder - for the sake of continuing the analogy - and allowing every memory to be a powerful and beautiful one, is much more worthwhile than deliberately reducing the likelihood of those really beautiful, building moments in your life.

But that’s just me…

Be The Change

Be The Change

(via celestialy)